A New Year – A New Adventure?

I had hoped leaving 2020 behind would have felt more of a joy, however the current restrictions still mean I’m not able to see the family and friends I most like to hug, spend time in other people’s company and schedule visits to the places I love to visit. My usual way of avoiding the January blues is to book the ‘family holiday’ so I have something to look forward to 🙂 – however, so far this year I’ve been remembering all the wonderful times I’ve had, dreaming about what could be and embarking on a new adventure that will enable me to share the Protective Behaviours process with a wider group of people.

What is this new adventure? Well, for those of you who don’t already know, in 2016 I had a few early warning signs about where I lived so decided to get more involved in my local community. I was co-opted on to our Parish Council and what ensued was a journey that didn’t always feel as safe as I had imagined it would be. It certainly wasn’t boring!  In 2018 I was re-elected and I am currently the longest serving member of the Council!

Then, in December 2020, 2 people I’ve worked alongside in my role as a Parish Councillor, invited me to consider putting my name forward to be selected in a forthcoming by-election with a view to being elected to the District Council.  I took some time to reflect and ask questions, before thinking “Why Not?”, as I realised it could be an opportunity to hopefully make even more of a difference.

Fast forward to January 2021 and I’ve now been selected as the candidate 🙂

I’m really looking forward to seeing how far this adventure takes me and how I can use the PB process, especially the Language of Safety, to empower others, enhance relationships and model communication free from violent metaphors, labels and blame. Here’s hoping this latest ‘risk on purpose’ leads to the start of a less adversarial political landscape at least at a ‘local’ level.

PS If you want to keep updated on this new adventure, feel free to visit https://www.riskingonpurpose.com/

Hear2Listen – I’ve done a podcast!

The last couple of months have whizzed by for me and I’m looking forward to being able to move into Winter knowing there’s far more interest in Protective Behaviours since being able to connect with people via Zoom – I’m a firm believer in the potential for awesome moments developing from awful situations. The latest moment for me came from being invited to join Max from Hear2Listen, a local non-profit organisation focused on supporting young people and adults with their wellbeing and mental health, on a podcast to talk about PBs. Max attended training with me just over a year ago and, since then, has found lots of ways to include the process both personally and professionally 🙂

I hope you enjoy watching our discussion unfold – I really like the way it feels like were just chatting and talking ‘serious stuff’ while having fun in true PB-style. Also think it’s the closest I’ll get to being in a studio à la Zoe Ball!

PS Hoping to have more exciting news next month as just written an article for parents on PBs to be included in a national charity magazine.

Feeling safer at the start of the new academic year

Well 2020 has cetainly been ‘a bit of a year’ and we’re only just about to start the new academic year!

In previous years the training days in September are always in high demand and I really appreciate being able to share/refresh or even introduce the Protective Behaviours, (PB) process to school-based staff all over the country.

This year, despite the difficulties with offering face-to-face training, I can still share the PB process thanks to the wonders of technology and my growing confidence in using it. And, in my opinion, if ever there was a need for Protective Behaviours and people of all ages and stages of development knowing and exercising their right to feel safe, that time is now.

I hope all those working in schools find the 10 minute video message below helpful in terms of helping them to feel safer and therefore also the children and young people in their care 🙂


More online PB adventures

The last few weeks and months have certainly been extraordinary and I feel so thankful for having as many choices as I have in terms of feeling and being safe. I’m also feeling grateful for the ‘opportunities’ this awful time has enabled me to discover, including finding authentic ways to share the Protective Behaviours process with a wider audience in an affordable way – I certainly didn’t expect to have as many bookings as I’ve had for my live online training and I will definitely continue to offer courses this way.

As well as having online Introduction to PBs and PBs in Practice sessions, I now have two models for facilitating the Certificated Protective Behaviours Foundation course: a 6×2 hour and a 4×3 hour version. I’ve also worked out a way to send all the materials needed for the whole course to attendees in one go and am really enjoying collating all the handouts plus little surprises in each envelope! And I’ve been asked to run another course for a college in the ‘school holidays’ – I love the way online training can work for people outside of the standard 9-5 and I’m hoping to offer a course where I’ll be working during the early hours of the morning while attendees will be eating their lunch.

While reviewing the training, I’ve had a few ‘Eureka moments’ including realising that some of the ‘traditional’ activities offered during face-to-face training don’t feel as safe online. (I feel confident there’ll be ‘shared-meaning’ with those of you who have experienced my ‘Feely Box’ Event – feels a tad sad to think it will never be dipped into again!). But, I’ve enjoyed designing new versions of activities and this lead me to taking another ‘risk on purpose’ and recording audio versions of materials I used to read aloud during training. I’m planning to make these available for whole team/staff training for the groups I was booked to be with in September as I think now, more than probably ever, it’s really important for the adults to feel safer as this will help the children feel safer too.

If you fancy a listen, the audio files are below 😊

Safe Place Exercise 

A People Place 

Remembering the Future 


That was the month that was

…(or May the force be with you).

What a month May has been for me and no doubt for many others! And, on reflection I feel pleased to say it’s not been all bad for me. In fact it’s felt like a mixture of ‘fun to feel scared’ and ‘risking on purpose’. Not sure I’ve felt totally safe, thankfully not too unsafe either. I have felt plenty of pangs of guilt as I live in a relatively quiet village and, now my children have left home, have plenty of space to enjoy including a garden – I am also acutely aware this is not the case for many other people – once again the privileges that come with life’s lottery surface and weigh heavy.

At the beginning of this enforced ‘protective interruption’ – I choose not to use the standard Covid 19 rhetoric of ‘lockdown’, ‘social distancing’ etc. – I found it hard to even think about training and instead self-regulated by tidying cupboards, weeding the garden, making balloon models including a new balloon ‘Rainbow of Hope’ to put in my window each Monday, doing jigsaw puzzles and colouring with pencils (for a more detailed explanation of how I used Protective Behaviours when this ‘protective interruption’ started please see my last post). This kept me distracted from the news, my hands busy and my spirits high. However, a couple of weekends ago, while sitting in the sunshine, I suddenly had a ‘moment’!!! ‘What if I tried delivering training in Protective Behaviours on-line?’

As already mentioned, my children are grown up and have left home, which means I have space and could choose to turn a downstairs room into an ‘at home training venue’.  I am also married to someone who loves tech challenges and gadgets so have access to a fab webcam, sound system and additional large screen to my laptop’s so I would actually be able to see people. So, we set up the room, I unpacked all my resources, ordered a brand new magnetic flipchart stand complete with 2 extendable arms and additional magnets and tried a dry run. We were on our way.

I’d like to thank Di Margetts and Ann Seal for listening to me think out loud as I worked out how to split the 2-day Foundation Course into 6 two-hour sessions and run the equivalent of a Day 1 in the first three sessions and then the Day 2 a week or fortnight later. I had a small group already booked on to training I was supposed to be running in Northampton in May, so I offered them the first choice. Suffice to say before too long I had the 6 people I needed to give it a go, including the first person from Orkney to access PB training! I then had to work out what resources they would need to receive before the session, either in hard copy or by email, and had great fun collating materials for posting. I really like receiving post 😊

As I type this, we’re half-way through the first course and the feedback from participants has been really positive both in terms of how safe they feel and how the digital platform is enabling them to access training no matter where they are.  I have also had a lot of interest from other groups already. However, I am determined to ensure the quality of the course remains high, so will be keeping numbers lower than they would be in a real training room. The authenticity and accessibility of training and the integrity of the PB process take priority over numbers!

And I’m now about to embark on another ‘virtual adventure’ by co-ordinating a series of 2-hour PB sessions for people totally new to the process and also for people who have previously attended training with me and want an opportunity to put the process into practice together. Further information can be found here.

8 years ago, a friend and PB training colleague and I risked on purpose by setting up the PBPeople community website (which has now evolved into ProtectiveBehaviours.org). We then risked again by establishing our own Protective Behaviours training ‘shop window’: the Protective Behaviours Training Partnership. Both of these ‘risks on purpose’  were born out of necessity as is this latest adventure, for if ever there was a time for people to feel safer, then 2020 is exactly that!

My thanks go to Heather Stapleford for designing this Rainbow of Hope for me. I’m planning to make into greeting cards and sticker sheets to share hope with a wider audience. Please get in touch if you’d like to purchase any.

PS Forgot to highlight another garden inspiration moment had towards the end of April – a new PB consistent activity posted every morning on the PB community website. Hope you enjoy them 🙂

Surreal Times

Well, I certainly didn’t envisage this blog would be written at a time when I feel even more unsettled than when I wrote the last one…… however here I am!

Once again I’m reflecting on the Protective Behaviours process and what it can offer all of us during this truly challenging period.

Like last time, the strategy of Protective Interruption feels really helpful as it offers me an element of choice and time limit as well a chance to take some control – so I actively decide whether or not to listen to the news and if I do, the channel that I trust the most. I also ensure I get outside and walk with my little dog every day – feeling blessed Spring is well and truly on its way. Good old Mother Nature is also doing her bit by displaying the wonder of new life and I feel truly piviliged to live in a place where ‘safe-spacing’* is relatively easy to do (*prefer this term to ‘social-distancing’ as we are naturally social beings so it’s important to maintain connection with others. I can therefore still share greetings and smile at others whilst sticking to the rules).

I’m also remaining connected to my wonderful PB Network buddies home and abroad and have found a new virtual network – Thank you @_LisaCherry for inviting me to be part of a new a group and enabling us to connect and process ideas daily if we choose to…. I really appreciated you sharing the JR Tolkien quote below as, for me, it perfectly illustrates the effect of not having any control over what the universe throws our way. What we can try to do though is control our thoughts and the way we respond*.

*(I am mindful that when people feel less safe, their responses are not always the safest ones!)

Continuing with the PB process, I’m using the strategy of Persistence at the same time as One Step Removed to ask the question ‘What if …’ and ‘enjoying’ inventing various scenarios – some humorous, (in my opinion) and some not so, whilst at the same time reinforcing Themes 1 & 2: ‘We all have the right to feel safe all the time’ & ‘We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small’. Must admit to this feeling like Risking on Purpose on some occasions and my ‘Thanks’ again go to Tolkien as he provides another truly apt quote in terms of my fondness for adventures!!!!

“Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!”

I’m aware though the biggest challenge for me is to continue to use the Language of Safety in terms of maintaining the element of Quality within this model and not resorting to blaming language. And as soon as I do, I’m reminded of Brené Brown’s video, ‘Damn You Steve’ and that blaming offers people, as Brené puts it, ‘a semblance of control’ so no wonder people do it! Being able to accept some things, like other people’s behaviour, the arrival of a new virus, are not things I can control, but I can do my best to control the way I respond and this response will be much safer if I can take a moment to breathe and visualize my ‘Safe Place’. I’m also noticing an awful lot of violent language being used to by both our politicians and media in terms of the need to ‘win the war’, ‘beat the virus’ and even suggesting people who sadly die have lost the fight. I’m looking forward to being able to discuss this with people when I’m able to train face-to-face again

So, during this unprecedented time of ‘working from home’, my fab PB Buddy Ann Seal and I plan to complete some of the things we have on our ‘To Do’ list, one of which is to finish off  and design new PB consistent resources to add to the Protective Behaviours Training Partnership website. The idea of a Protective Behaviours Strategy placemat for training is one of those things we’ve had on our list for quite a while and Ann finished it last week – Thank You Ann. I decided to give it a test run and have used it to record some of the ways I’m using the 7 PB Strategies in response to Covid 19 – hope you find it a helpful summary of all the above. 🙂

PB Covid 19 Place Mat

Looking forward to catching up again once we’ve got through this latest ‘adventure’ and feeling hopeful my next blog will be written in far less surreal times.

Yours in health and safety,

PS For a more detailed explanation of the PB Strategies please see this Forum post on the Protective Behaviours Association website.

Brexit Blues

Not quite sure how I will get through tomorrow as I still can’t quite understand how leaving the EU became a reality. One thing is for sure, tomorrow I will be employing all my knowledge of the Protective Behaviours process to keep me feeling as safe as possible as the day progresses. I will be employing the PB strategy of ‘protective interruption’ by not listening to or watching any news coverage – this may well mean turning the radio down on the hour and averting my eyes from any screens if I choose to go the gym. I will instead celebrate all things European with as many like-minded people as possible – thinking of holding an EU evening of food & drink and decorating the house with my various EU flags and bunting….

Slightly earlier today I realised that I’ve been able to get through 2020 so far because training Protective Behaviours gives me hope for the future. I then started to collate some of the feedback from January’s courses so I have something concrete to share with people that illustrates how empowering PBs is and how it changes the way people feel, think and behave. So, moving forward I will continue to persist, which is another one of the seven PB strategies, and elegantly challenge, using the PB language of safety model, anyone who tries to tell me to just get over Brexit and make the most of it. (PBs is definitely not about ‘put up and shut up).

If you’d like to read some of the feedback from people who attended training in January 2020, please see document PBTP Training Feedback Jan20 x2.